He came at the most unsuitable time in my life.. a time when im loving someone the most.. he took a risk and made his way to me.. i apreciate every "I LOVE YOU" he told me.. it felt so true yet im not that so eager to believe, and besides im much eager to hear that from someone and not from him.. and yet its true.. little by little i learned to apreciate every effort he is making.. there came a time when he even calls me almost every hour just to check me and tell me that he loves me.. im waiting for a msg from someone but to my annoyance it was just from him.. and to make things even worse.. im waiting for someone to show me more love but it seems like he is giving more.. im not waitng for stupid signs bcoz im juz contented loving someone..
and then suddenly i realize.. here i am waiting for someone while he is there all along waiting for me..
sometimes i feel sorry for him..
but now i feel much hatred on myself for being so selfish..
i wanted to be happy.. while im making him sad..
im thinking of somebody while he is thinking of me..
i wanted to live while im slowly killing him..
right now im loving someone..
definitely not him..
im loving someone though im not quite sure if he do loves me too that much..
i juz dont care at all..
bcoz i choose to love that someone and not him..
maybe someday il regret it..
this might be the greatest sin in my life..
but i hope someday..
if that someone is really not my forever..
i hope..
he would still be there..
waiting for me..
patiently..eagerly..
just like before..
he told me he will not change..
i will hold on to his words..
coz i dont want to be a murderer anymore..
