HE HEALS ME..

I Told him my biggest secret And he told me four.
He smiled at me and said that makes me love you more
And then he made me laugh And I knew it was a sign That he was a man, That I wanted in my life
And with every passing day I feel more and more of that way
He heals me
He knows the real me
And he accepts me,
he never hurts me
He heals me
He knows the real me
And he accepts me,
he never hurts me
He heals me,
He heals me I can play him songs, all through the night,
And he will listen to every line, And even when I'm wrong,
he is still kind
He chooses his words wisely when he tells me I'm not right.
And yes he is a beautiful man, But he is also a beautiful friend
He heals me
He knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me
He heals me
He knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me
The moment that we met, he made me smile.
He has so much compassion in his eyes
I have no idea, how long he'll be here A season or a lifetime,
forever or a year But for the first time in my life I'm not worried about the future Because we have such a wonderful time when we're together
However things turn out, it's all right Cause he's already changed my life.
He heals me
He knows the real me
And he accepts me,
he never hurts me
He heals me He knows the real me
And he accepts me, he never hurts me He heals me..........

the only exception..

When I was younger I saw my daddy cry And curse at the wind He broke his own heart And I watched As he tried to reassemble it And my momma swore that She would never let herself forget And that was the day that I promised I'd never sing of love If it does not exist Maybe I know, somewhere Deep in my soul That love never lasts And we've got to find other ways To make it alone Keep a straight face And I've always lived like this Keeping a comfortable, distance And up until now I had sworn to myself that I'm Content with loneliness Because none of it was ever worth the risk Well, You, are, the only exception

he once told me this song is for me..

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call?
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all?

I never know what the future brings
But I know you're here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I'm praying you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
'Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
You know my heart is by your side

I don’t wanna run away but I can’t take it, I don’t understand
If I’m not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

IM A MURDERER...

He came at the most unsuitable time in my life.. a time when im loving someone the most.. he took a risk and made his way to me.. i apreciate every "I LOVE YOU" he told me.. it felt so true yet im not that so eager to believe, and besides im much eager to hear that from someone and not from him.. and yet its true.. little by little i learned to apreciate every effort he is making.. there came a time when he even calls me almost every hour just to check me and tell me that he loves me.. im waiting for a msg from someone but to my annoyance it was just from him.. and to make things even worse.. im waiting for someone to show me more love but it seems like he is giving more.. im not waitng for stupid signs bcoz im juz contented loving someone..

and then suddenly i realize.. here i am waiting for someone while he is there all along waiting for me..
sometimes i feel sorry for him..
but now i feel much hatred on myself for being so selfish..
i wanted to be happy.. while im making him sad..
im thinking of somebody while he is thinking of me..
i wanted to live while im slowly killing him..
right now im loving someone..
definitely not him..
im loving someone though im not quite sure if he do loves me too that much..
i juz dont care at all..
bcoz i choose to love that someone and not him..
maybe someday il regret it..
this might be the greatest sin in my life..
but i hope someday..
if that someone is really not my forever..
i hope..
he would still be there..
waiting for me..
patiently..eagerly..
just like before..
he told me he will not change..
i will hold on to his words..
coz i dont want to be a murderer anymore..

MAYBE

maybe someday il get tired..
maybe someday il get tired of reaching out to him..
maybe someday il get tired of all his alibis..
maybe someday il let go of him..

maybe one of these days il realize i dont deserve him..
maybe one of these days il ran out of reasons to fight for our love..
if indeed it was love..

but i think..
maybe right now..
il just sit in my usual corner and cry till i ran out of reasons to..
i feel like i wanted to let go of him..
but i dont wanna lose him..
but what the hell??!!
even if i let go of him
nothing will change..
bcoz i've let go of someone
who were never really became mine after all..
maybe if i let him go,
he'll be much happier..
much better..

this one goes to you..

You’re everything I thought you never were
And nothing like I thought you could’ve been
But still you live inside of me
So tell me how is that?

You’re the only one I wish I could forget
The only one I’d love to not forgive
And though you break my heart, you’re the only one
And though there are times when I hate you
Cause I can’t erase
The times that you hurt me
And put tears on my face
And even now while I hate you
It pains me to say
I know I’ll be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take a breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl…No...No
No broken-hearted girl
I’m no broken-hearted girl

Something that I feel I need to say
But up to now I’ve always been afraid
That you would never come around
And still I want to put this out
You say you’ve got the most respect for me
But sometimes I feel you’re not deserving me
And still you’re in my heart
But you’re the only one and yes
There are times when I hate you
But I don’t complain
Cause I’ve been afraid that you would've walk away
Oh but now I don’t hate you
I’m happy to say
That I will be there at the end of the day

I don’t wanna be without you babe
I don’t want a broken heart
Don’t wanna take breath with out you babe
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way no no
I don’t want a broken heart
And I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl...No…No
No broken-hearted girl

Now I’m at a place I thought I’d never be…Oooo
I’m living in a world that’s all about you and me…yeah
Ain't gotta be afraid my broken heart is free
To spread my wings and fly away
Away With you
yeah yeah yeah, ohh ohh ohh

I don’t wanna be without my baby
I don’t wanna a broken heart
Don’t want to take a breath with out my baby
I don’t wanna play that part
I know that I love you
But let me just say
I don’t want to love you in no kind of way..No..No
I don’t want a broken heart
I don’t wanna play the broken-hearted girl..No..No..
No broken-hearted girl
Broken-hearted girl No…no…
No broken-hearted girl
No broken-hearted girl

just like the first time

so far.. he seems to be the one who plays the role of my FIRST LOVE..
giving me so much feelings that im only starting to feel for the first time..
how he hugged me tight then starts to treat me cold after several minutes..
how he kisses me warmly then his lips will turn cold after a while..
the way he tells me how much he misses me but doesnt txt me too often sometimes..
how he adores my pictures but later it seems that he doesnt really care at all..
i feel like a fool sometimes for still loving him and giving him all ha wants..
the moment i knew i hate him,the same moment that he txts me? all my anger turns to oblivion.
how a single message from him makes me love him all over again just like the first time..

i dont care anymore how much tears i might shed for loving him..
i dont care anymore if im loving a loser..
i dont care anymore if all these things are not meant for forever,i dont care at all..

coz i want to give all my LOVE..


...JUST LIKE THE FIRST TIME..